Do You Fear Life Wants To Hurl More Problems at You?
I remember waiting in line behind a mom and her two-year-old little boy. He had big blue eyes and seemed to be studying me. I gave him a warm smile, and he responded with an ear-to-ear grin…then he flipped me the bird! After the initial shock, I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. At two years old, he meant nothing by it other than to make his mom crazy and complete strangers laugh. Now, we all know that laughing is the worst thing you can do. His mom seemed to know instinctively what he had done, and although she was furious with him, he seemed more interested in me (I was now trying to hold back the laughter). I guess he was willing to forgo some oxytocin bonding with his mom for this dose of serotonin and oxytocin he was getting from me. I had inadvertently encouraged this outrageous behavior and had to apologize to his mother for not helping her. Laughing was like putting my stamp of approval on her child’s behavior. It made me wonder if that perspective haunts us a bit when we try to take life’s antics lightly. I realized after I thought about it, that I feared my lack of outrage over my troubles could encourage more of them to show up. Dumb, I know, life isn’t watching, going, “Oh, really, you think that is funny?” As it hurls more problems at you. In fact, it’s the opposite. Letting go of your frustration will alter your energy field so that fewer problems show up.
Everyone has his or her own brew of defensive reactions, from worrying, yelling, and crying to overworking, drinking, sleeping, and complaining to anyone who will listen. I hope you realize these behaviors/tantrums are full of empty promises and examine these hardwired misguided reactions more objectively. Once you see this lie exposed—that getting upset will somehow help you—your behavior will begin to change.