13 Things To Know if You DO NOT Want to Become Divorce Statistic
I am going to explain the 13 Things you must know if you want to find and marry the right guy and not become a divorce statistic. Use this information and they will increase your odds for marital bliss 10 fold.
Understanding number 1: A man and a woman have two different agendas as to why they pursue each other. A man's brain tells him to make babies everywhere and a woman's brain tells her to find a man who can help her raise and protect her family. So understand if you are between ages 13-40 years old then right off the bat you two are NOT on the same page. Some of this changes after 40 for obvious reasons.
Understanding number 2: When you first lay eyes on a guy you’re your reptilian brain will scan him in the blink of an eye only and evaluate if he is strong, healthy, and looks like he can protect a family. Your conscious mind will be scanning to see if he would be a good provider, smart, well-adjusted and financially secure.
Understanding number 3:
if he passes this first test your brain will release dopamine which is like cocaine to your brain and you'll believe you are off to a good start. And it would be, if you were living a thousand years ago.
Understanding number 4: Once he gets physically close to you, your brain will pick up his scent and determine whether or not his immune system is different enough from yours so that you would produce healthy babies. But all you will notice is feeling either, more attracted, less attracted or lukewarm.
Understanding number 5: Your primitive brain can be easily tricked if you are on the pill. Being on the pill will trick your body into thinking it's pregnant and therefore look for an immune system that is similar to yours because that represents a family member, who will support you in your pregnancy. So be sure to date a man for 3 months on the pill and 3 months off to see if your attraction changes.
Understanding number 6: The powerful emotions that will follow all these green lights are fueled by over 100 hormones and neurochemicals that will cause you to feel you are falling in love. Once these chemicals ignite, your once sensible and reasonable mind will NOT be functioning with clarity. This the key area you need boundaries or you will fall in love with the wrong one by becoming so addicted to the wonderful buzz that you will ignore everything that could be wrong with him.
And it ignites this fast is because everything in your genetics and reptilian brain pushes you toward finding a mate.
Understanding number 7: Having no boundaries means you give yourself permission to feel good around him allow him to make you feel wonderful. Right here is where everything changes. You make a conscious decision to seek his compliments, gifts, adoration, caring, and listening. You will see if he brings out the best in you and if he is powerful or has powerful connections you will most likely dive in head first. Does Donald Trump really think those chicks love him for that hairdo? It is why groupies flock to rock stars like moths to a flame. So be aware of the lure of power. Staying aware of what is happening in your brain and understanding that it is not some cosmic divine connection but simply chemicals will help you maintain objectivity if you put the following boundaries in place.
Understanding number 8: Boundaries are : Not having sex and not being too vulnerable when you are around him until you have discussed the following issues--
Children
Money
Sex
Fidelity
In-Law boundaries
Shared household responsibilities
And alchohol and drug over indulgence
If you feel it is too early to have those conversations but not to early to have sex then your priorities are reversed. If you are serious about finding the right guy then you have to have these conversations before hand. These are why marriages crash and burn. If you still think it’s too early just think about this: most of those questions are addressed in simple roommate agreements.
Understanding number 9: Until you have the answers to the above questions you have no business taking your guard down removing the boundaries and allowing him to make you feel good. Otherwise it is the equivalent of trying to take your SATs while you are drunk. Because once those chemicals are in play you will have very little common sense, reasonability or objectivity.
Understanding number 11 if you want to marry the right guy you can't date the wrong guy just for convenience. If youspend time cuddling and having sex with him it will release oxytocin and dopamine causing you to think you have now fallen in love with him and “Hey he isn't so bad, I could do worse . That is NOT the BENCH MARK LADIES!!! You will ignore all of the warning signs because you will do anything to keep that buzz.
Understanding number 12: Will he cheat on you? The million-dollar question we all wish we knew ahead of time. Well science now knows that it is wired into his genes. Their ability to be monogamous and be a more attentive father is known by looking at their vasopressin receptor gene. It comes in 17 lengths and the longer it is the better. So that’s the size you should be concerned with. Thinking someone will change or stop that behavior because they are in love is ignorance. Can you battle genetics? Absolutely. Science knows that your genetics and DNA can be altered with outside influences now.
Understanding 13: You will NEVER change him! Only he can change him. Remember this Typically when a man marries a women he hopes she will never change But when a woman marries a man she is absolutely hoping he will change. On average women grow and change most of their lives, having a partner who never wants to evolve and grow as a person can leave you feeling empty. So if he isn’t into it now, don’t expect him to be later. What you see is WHAT you will GET!
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